Datalog Alpha 923-17-002: In Space, No One Can Hear You Cackle

Featuring: Jchk, Joe, and Kalid with special guests - SPACE GOBLINS!

Hard work can be rewarding, and the reward is more hard work. For their shift, the Monkeys were instructed to go on to the outer hull and clear out a vent. After an inadequate briefing on how to use the equipment, they were sent to the outside of the ship.

On the hull, the whole expanse of the universe was revealed to them. The infinite stars, galaxies, and planets unfolded as they soared by on the outside of the Endeavor. Suddenly they felt very small, extremely small.

After the panic attacks subsided they walked (crawled) their way to the vent only to find a small (large) meteorite embedded in it. Taking out their tools, they toiled their way through the strange stone in hopes to dislodge it. About halfway through their work, they found a strange object inside. The object was a double-cross design made of some sort of strange metal. They decided to secret it away and try to find someone who could tell them what it was.

They finally demolished the object into space dust and wrapped up the rest of their shift, never letting Orthon know what they found. Some time later they decided to check in with Nuisance to see if he knew anything about the object. They trudged down to the nutriment vats to fins the cranky (asshole) ysoki.

Although he had moved from where he was before, it did not take too long to find Nuisance. After the usual unpleasantries, they asked Nuisance about the object. He revealed that it was a key used to open some of their many temples around the Vast. He informed them a bit about the Universal Church of the Stars, but still kept many things to himself. He did let slip a phrase that the Spacemonkeys have never heard of before, Under Town.

As always, talking with Nuisance made them go to the Filthy Spot to unwind. The crew talked, danced, and drank the cycle away until Orthon came in to tell them that they were expecting their (cheap ass) ship, the Howler, in during their next cycle. He wanted them to be sober and on time. A bit weary, they finished up their time out, and went to bed.

The next shift was up and Joe was beginning to get on everyone’s nerves due to her excitement at actually being able to fly a ship. Hour after hour went by and there was no news of the Howler. After scraping Joe off the ceiling a few times due to her excitement (and copious amounts of sugar) the team finally gave up on getting a ship this cycle. They were clocking out (no that they needed to, but the company studies found it makes the workers feel like they have time off) when Orthon came up and informed them they were going into Overtime.

It seems the space-tug that was towing the ship (you see, it is not really functional right now) was attacked and they lost contact with it. They will take a shuttle out to it and the Monkeys must take back what is theirs.

It did not take long to get to the rendezvous point and they saw the ruined space-tug, obviously blown up with the Howler drifting in space. They suited up and jetted over to the ship. They manually opened up the airlock and entered the craft only to find some Space Goblins drifting about without their helmets. They apparently did not understand that the ship did not work and were unable to replace their helmets after taking them off. As the crew moved past them, they suddenly began moving and their eyes appeared to be filled with stars.

They quickly dispatched the strange reanimated gobbos, but were disturbed by this new development. No one had ever heard of this happening before. But, monkeys being monkeys, they still had a job to do. So room by room, compartment by compartment they searched and dispatched the thieving, insane goblins.

The galley was filled with condiments adrift and Space Goblins with food smeared on their helmets. The goblins were obviously suffering from space madness (or, you know, just goblins) because in another room was a goblin trying on a dress. Joe dispatched it as it hid in a locker. On the observation deck, the chaos continued as Jchk pulped a goblin so hard, the crew almost felt bad for it. Almost. One of the goblin’s guns exploded from an overload severely damaging the room and incinerating a goblin or two.

It did not take long before the whole ship was checked and cleared of the infuriating little beasties. Next came the hard part, cleaning and fixing. The Spacemonkeys decided cleaning it in space would be the best way to start, the zero gravity makes blood clean up so much easier. Many times Joe was caught at the controls pretending to fly the spaceship and adding in her own sound effects.

It would still take some time to fix up, but the Howler was now in the hangar and officially part of the crew.


deadbeatnik deadbeatnik

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